he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
