am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
