Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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