peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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