Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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