I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
