Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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