Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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