His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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