carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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