In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
