Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize