Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
