i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
