Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
