Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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