Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
