What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize