i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
