dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
