A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
