Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
