Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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