He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
