I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you win again, gameday.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
