1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He felt like a one man threesome
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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