They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize