im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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