I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
