somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
