My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
