Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize