I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
