He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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