I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
