Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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