So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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