The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
