she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
