Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
