He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
