Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
