i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
