Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
