So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
