Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i'm saving my butt for my wedding night

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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(260): View more from Indiana

3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella

(1-260): View more from Indiana

I've never been more proud of you

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night

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(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

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(716): View more from New York

i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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(425): View more from Washington

So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE

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