Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
