Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
