I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize