Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
