I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
