Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
