i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize