You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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