Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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