i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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