I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
