he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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