I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
