woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
